Indigo's Peer Journal Exercises- Exercise #6
Thanks to Nicholas on the "Reiki" email list for this idea-
He says, "Before, I couldn't make the connection of exactly why 'You can't love someone more than you love yourself.' This exercise drove the point home for me."
This exercise doesn't necessarily apply to your attacker(s), but can be useful in that application nonetheless.
Here is how you do it:
Take a clean sheet of paper and draw a horizontal line across the top. From the center of that line draw another line straight down the page.
Now at the very top of the page (center, not on any of the 2 sides), write the name of someone who really bugs you. Someone who seems to know all of your buttons and pushes them gleefully. Over the horizontal line on the left, put a "plus" sign and on the right, put a "minus" sign.
On the left side down the column (under the "+" sign), list all of the things you like and admire about this person. When you can't think of anything else, move on to the "-" side and list all of the things you can't stand about the person. It doesn't matter how petty it is- if you think of it, write it down.
Even if you don't actually do the full exercise with the paper, try to at least think of someone who has a few qualities you both like and dislike.
Here is what you get from it:
The secret of the list is that it isn't really about the other person at all.
It is about you.
Go down the plus column and *before* each entry, add the words "I love myself when I..." When you are done that, go down the minus side and before each entry, add "I don't love myself when I..."
Nicholas goes on to say:
"Since I learned this little trick it, has brought a whole new dimension to my relations with people and understanding of myself. Difficult situations when I would become annoyed or angry with people became opportunities for me to learn about the parts of myself which needed evolving."
"My personal approach to evolving these parts is to simply love them. Unconditional love applies to oneself too! Think of any negative thoughts, feelings, any parts of yourself you are not happy with, as small children who don't know how to act any better. In many ways these parts of yourself are young and not yet able to express themselves in higher ways."
"Love is a powerful force of evolution. As you love these parts they will evolve to their higher expression. Think of them as rosebuds- love is the sunshine that will make them blossom."
Again, thanks to Nicholas for pointing this out to me.